- This is a work of fiction -
Hallucinatory Arm Pretense ParalYsis (HAPPY) is a medical condition whereby an individual experiences varying degrees of hallucinations, in addition to partial or complete lost of arm control, with the possibility of the arm moving reflexively, due to extended periods of self-inflicted conflicts between reality and fantasy. In simpler terms, an individual who fakes his/her emotions will have a small risk of being diagnosed with HAPPY, with this risk exponentially increasing with continuous self-infliction of fake emotions.
HAPPY is a relatively new medical condition, with its causes, symptoms, and treatment not fully understood; this is made worse by the fact that many leading medical experts outright refuse to believe in the existence of the condition. These experts generally claim that the condition is simply a scare tactic used to frighten individuals out of embracing fake emotions, or for a better term, pretense.
A number of renowned philosophers, however, have continuously advocated the existence of HAPPY, due to its simple and effective nature in minimizing pretense in a society that is booming with selfishness, indifference, and greed.
These renowned philosophers are now begging on the streets.
Yet, Richard is a teenage boy who was diagnosed with HAPPY. This is his story.
Richard has learned to fake his emotions ever since his father started abusing him when he was three. Outside the "comfort" of his home, Richard and his family seemed to be perfect, full of smiles and generosity and eagerness to lend a helping hand. At home, Richard was beaten, burned with cigarette butts, cut with knives, called "retarded", "crippled", and was raped by his father on a nightly basis.
At age twelve, Richard's mother was killed by his father, and he was left alone on the streets. An elderly couple, who were a pair of philosophers that refused to believe in the existence of HAPPY, found him, adopted him, and raised him to be one of his school's friendliest people.
Richard was never without his signature laughter. He was always so eager to be there for a friend in need, and he would never fail to make them happy. On online messaging services like Facebook and WhatsApp, Richard has a habit of overusing positive emojis and "haha". In fact, he would begin most of his messages with "haha", as he believed that it would make him seem happy in the eyes of others.
Yet, the trauma of his childhood continued to haunt his dreams. There were so many nights where he started screaming and wailing; there were also days where he was one hug away from hanging himself. His adoptive parents were very supportive of him, and will do anything to keep him alive and happy.
In his teenage years, Richard had his adoptive parents convinced that he has successfully rid himself of the trauma. They were finally confident in leaving him alone at home while they went for a short walk in the park, just the two of them. It was their first date in twelve years, as they never left Richard alone during those years. They were so afraid that Richard would lose control that they actually followed him to school and waited outside his classroom until his lessons were over.
So they left to the park. Richard was alone. He has been hiding it all along, the fact that his right arm can no longer be directly controlled. It seemed to move by reflex. He was just so good at pretending that his right arm was fine. Once, Richard right arm reached for his adoptive father's pants. He pretended that he was just helping his adoptive father to zip his pants. His adoptive father did not suspect one bit, for he did not believe in the existence of HAPPY.
Having recognized the paralysis and reflexive actions of his right arm as a possible symptom of HAPPY, Richard decided to seek a counselor for support. He did not opt for a doctor, one due to the controversy surrounding the legitimacy of the condition, and two being his belief that the condition is psychological, not physical.
He was warmly welcomed into the male counselor's room. He sat on the sofa, with a cup of hot coffee sitting on the wooden table in front of him. The counselor is seated on a simple plastic chair to the right of the table. The counselor smiled and softly bit his own lips.
'How are you feeling, Richard?'
'Haha... It's all good, except that I think... I faked my emotions a lot... Hahaha...'
It is clear that Richard was still trying to make light of a very dire situation. The counselor questioned Richard, and Richard eventually told him about his dreadful past over the course of an hour. Noticing the haphazard motions of Richard's right arm, the counselor gradually steered the conversational topic to that of HAPPY.
Richard's eyes lit up. He was very interested.
'According to several unverified reports, there are five stages of HAPPY; the first involves losing control of one or both of your arms. Based on these reports, the very act of pretending, or faking emotions, will require so much brain power that the brain had to sacrifice the functionalities of several body parts, and in this case, the arms are usually the main targets for sacrifice. The term paralysis grossly undermines the severity of the problem, as these sacrificed arms will still move by reflex, potentially causing... problems.'
'Haha... The reason sounds a bit unbelievable, I think. But I ain't a doctor so... I don't know... Hahaha...'
'Ask anyone in the medical community and they will most likely shoot down such a ridiculous and unproven hypothesis, but, think about it, the brain has the capability to make you feel both happy and sad at the same time, as years of forced smiles and laughter made you genuinely believe that you're happy, yet you're still weeping somewhere inside.'
'It can therefore be theorized that this very act of balancing facades require tremendous brain power, which explains the symptoms of HAPPY.'
'With your brain too occupied to resume control of your arm, the spinal cord, which processes the reflexive reactions to any stimulus, will go... awry. At least, that's what I think.'
'Think of the body as the father and the arm as the son, with a sacrificed arm being equivalent to a son who no longer loves his father. The father will still have his son, but will have lost control of his son, and the father will be desperate to regain control of his son, for that is what fathers do. For your case, your body is desperate to regain control of the sacrificed arm, and thus explains the spinal cord's sad, sad attempt to regain control of your arm by heightening the sensitivities of its reflex sensors.'
Richard was pleased with the explanation. Richard wanted to seek more advice, however, the counselor noticed something peculiar.
'With your right arm effectively paralyzed, I highly doubt you can... masturbate, can you?'
Richard was appalled. It was a disgusting turn of topics. Richard no longer looked at the counselor in the eyes.
'What if... I help you masturbate?'
'Haha, that wouldn't be neces-'
The counselor was already in front of him. He unzipped Richard's jeans and stripped him off his undergarment. His right hand was already wrapped around Richard's penis.
Richard wanted to scream. Richard hated it. Yet, the daily abuse by his father when he was a child conditioned him to take pleasure in it. It was a self-defense mechanism.
Richard moaned during ejaculation. He enjoyed every single moment of it, yet tears started waterfalling down his face.
'Please stop... Haha...'
'You enjoyed it, right?'
'I do... But pleas-'
Richard's right hand reflexively moved to the area of the counselor's crotch. The hand started to rub, to unzip, to fondle, to grip, to move.
'Second stage of HAPPY is when your sacrificed arm start repeating your most often executed actions, and in your case, it seems to be...'
'I used to do this... to my... father... Haha... ha... Please don't beat me.'
Richard's right hand moved faster and faster. Richard screamed, his eyes bloodshot, yet he still continued smiling. Richard laughed and sobbed. Richard desperately tried to regain control of his right arm, yet, it was too late, for the counselor ejaculated.
'That was amazing, Richard.'
Richard ran to the door, yet his sacrificed right arm could not reach for the doorknob. He tried lifting his left arm.
'Paralyzed? Richard, We talked about this for so long, stop pretending, if you didn't like what I have just done, you could've just told me.'
'But... Haha... I-I was, I-I felt... p-p-powerless...'
'I'm just a kid... right? I should l-listen to a-adults... Haha...'
Richard, still exposing his lower half, fell to the ground. The counselor approached him.
'Third stage is where you start hallucinating, son of a whore. Who the fuck asked you to be so fuckable?'
Soon, he was on top of Richard. He stabbed his penis into Richard's bottom. He moved his hips. Richard could not resist, for both his arms are sacrificed, and his legs were quivering. He bit his own lips so hard it bled. Blood flowed down his cheek and stained his shirt. Richard could no longer perceive his environment; the only thing he noticed was the cup of coffee on the wooden table. When Richard first entered the room, it used to read 'Be happy!', then it changed to 'World's Best Dad!'
The counselor retracted his penis from Richard's bottom. The counselor's penis enlarged and elongated upwards, past his own height.
'It's your fault, Richard, for you did not resist. You could've told me to stop, but you always sat there crying, powerless, so blame no one but yourself.'
'If you need to blame someone for giving you such a tight asshole and fuckable face, blame me, for it is my sperm that produced you!'
Richard realized.
'Dad... Why are you in my... room...? Please, hahahaha... please leave me alone... please!'
'You like it, Richard, it is written all over your face. You're just prompting me to fuck you more, eh? Son of a whore, you are just like your mother, pretending to feel pain and trying to beg me to stop. Your whore of a mother dressed like a whore, and so she would've enjoyed being fucked like a whore, yet she screamed for help when I tried to fuck her!'
'Don't lie to me, you loved it all, son of a whore!'
The father stabbed his elongated penis into Richard's bottom. The tip of the penis emerged from Richard's throat.
Richard was dead.
The father pulled out the umbrella from Richard's bottom.
'They said the third stage of HAPPY is a self-defense mechanism to convince yourself that you're in a good situation although you're in a shitty one.'
'Were you really so depressed that you deluded yourself into seeing me as a counselor? Thinking that I would help you? Bullshit.'
'My verdict? Fuck off, you weakling. I did you a favor by killing you off, so fucking bless me from hell, son of a whore.'
'Here, I moved you to this chair in front of your computer screen, with a picture of a whore on it. Stare at it with your dead eyes, for you, your mother, and this picture of a whore are all the fucking same!'
And here I am.
Dead.
The fourth stage of HAPPY only kicks in once the individual is dead.
The sacrificed arms continue moving reflexively after death.
Except the arms are reflexively executing what the individual wanted to do the most before death.
And Richard... He really wanted to type this essay out.
I really wanted to.
I wanted to let society know.
I wanted to let you know.
Please, don't do this to us...
Respect us...
Is loving us normally... such a difficult thing to do?
Don't... hurt... us...
Please, haha...
i just want to be happy
fifth stage of happy is
all i did was
laugh
laugh
laugh
am i happy
dad dont beat me
dad why are you showing me your
peepee
dad i'm not crying
i'm laughing
hahaha
see
dad
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
HAPPY is a relatively new medical condition, with its causes, symptoms, and treatment not fully understood; this is made worse by the fact that many leading medical experts outright refuse to believe in the existence of the condition. These experts generally claim that the condition is simply a scare tactic used to frighten individuals out of embracing fake emotions, or for a better term, pretense.
A number of renowned philosophers, however, have continuously advocated the existence of HAPPY, due to its simple and effective nature in minimizing pretense in a society that is booming with selfishness, indifference, and greed.
These renowned philosophers are now begging on the streets.
Yet, Richard is a teenage boy who was diagnosed with HAPPY. This is his story.
Richard has learned to fake his emotions ever since his father started abusing him when he was three. Outside the "comfort" of his home, Richard and his family seemed to be perfect, full of smiles and generosity and eagerness to lend a helping hand. At home, Richard was beaten, burned with cigarette butts, cut with knives, called "retarded", "crippled", and was raped by his father on a nightly basis.
At age twelve, Richard's mother was killed by his father, and he was left alone on the streets. An elderly couple, who were a pair of philosophers that refused to believe in the existence of HAPPY, found him, adopted him, and raised him to be one of his school's friendliest people.
Richard was never without his signature laughter. He was always so eager to be there for a friend in need, and he would never fail to make them happy. On online messaging services like Facebook and WhatsApp, Richard has a habit of overusing positive emojis and "haha". In fact, he would begin most of his messages with "haha", as he believed that it would make him seem happy in the eyes of others.
Yet, the trauma of his childhood continued to haunt his dreams. There were so many nights where he started screaming and wailing; there were also days where he was one hug away from hanging himself. His adoptive parents were very supportive of him, and will do anything to keep him alive and happy.
In his teenage years, Richard had his adoptive parents convinced that he has successfully rid himself of the trauma. They were finally confident in leaving him alone at home while they went for a short walk in the park, just the two of them. It was their first date in twelve years, as they never left Richard alone during those years. They were so afraid that Richard would lose control that they actually followed him to school and waited outside his classroom until his lessons were over.
So they left to the park. Richard was alone. He has been hiding it all along, the fact that his right arm can no longer be directly controlled. It seemed to move by reflex. He was just so good at pretending that his right arm was fine. Once, Richard right arm reached for his adoptive father's pants. He pretended that he was just helping his adoptive father to zip his pants. His adoptive father did not suspect one bit, for he did not believe in the existence of HAPPY.
Having recognized the paralysis and reflexive actions of his right arm as a possible symptom of HAPPY, Richard decided to seek a counselor for support. He did not opt for a doctor, one due to the controversy surrounding the legitimacy of the condition, and two being his belief that the condition is psychological, not physical.
He was warmly welcomed into the male counselor's room. He sat on the sofa, with a cup of hot coffee sitting on the wooden table in front of him. The counselor is seated on a simple plastic chair to the right of the table. The counselor smiled and softly bit his own lips.
'How are you feeling, Richard?'
'Haha... It's all good, except that I think... I faked my emotions a lot... Hahaha...'
It is clear that Richard was still trying to make light of a very dire situation. The counselor questioned Richard, and Richard eventually told him about his dreadful past over the course of an hour. Noticing the haphazard motions of Richard's right arm, the counselor gradually steered the conversational topic to that of HAPPY.
Richard's eyes lit up. He was very interested.
'According to several unverified reports, there are five stages of HAPPY; the first involves losing control of one or both of your arms. Based on these reports, the very act of pretending, or faking emotions, will require so much brain power that the brain had to sacrifice the functionalities of several body parts, and in this case, the arms are usually the main targets for sacrifice. The term paralysis grossly undermines the severity of the problem, as these sacrificed arms will still move by reflex, potentially causing... problems.'
'Haha... The reason sounds a bit unbelievable, I think. But I ain't a doctor so... I don't know... Hahaha...'
'Ask anyone in the medical community and they will most likely shoot down such a ridiculous and unproven hypothesis, but, think about it, the brain has the capability to make you feel both happy and sad at the same time, as years of forced smiles and laughter made you genuinely believe that you're happy, yet you're still weeping somewhere inside.'
'It can therefore be theorized that this very act of balancing facades require tremendous brain power, which explains the symptoms of HAPPY.'
'With your brain too occupied to resume control of your arm, the spinal cord, which processes the reflexive reactions to any stimulus, will go... awry. At least, that's what I think.'
'Think of the body as the father and the arm as the son, with a sacrificed arm being equivalent to a son who no longer loves his father. The father will still have his son, but will have lost control of his son, and the father will be desperate to regain control of his son, for that is what fathers do. For your case, your body is desperate to regain control of the sacrificed arm, and thus explains the spinal cord's sad, sad attempt to regain control of your arm by heightening the sensitivities of its reflex sensors.'
Richard was pleased with the explanation. Richard wanted to seek more advice, however, the counselor noticed something peculiar.
'With your right arm effectively paralyzed, I highly doubt you can... masturbate, can you?'
Richard was appalled. It was a disgusting turn of topics. Richard no longer looked at the counselor in the eyes.
'What if... I help you masturbate?'
'Haha, that wouldn't be neces-'
The counselor was already in front of him. He unzipped Richard's jeans and stripped him off his undergarment. His right hand was already wrapped around Richard's penis.
Richard wanted to scream. Richard hated it. Yet, the daily abuse by his father when he was a child conditioned him to take pleasure in it. It was a self-defense mechanism.
Richard moaned during ejaculation. He enjoyed every single moment of it, yet tears started waterfalling down his face.
'Please stop... Haha...'
'You enjoyed it, right?'
'I do... But pleas-'
Richard's right hand reflexively moved to the area of the counselor's crotch. The hand started to rub, to unzip, to fondle, to grip, to move.
'Second stage of HAPPY is when your sacrificed arm start repeating your most often executed actions, and in your case, it seems to be...'
'I used to do this... to my... father... Haha... ha... Please don't beat me.'
Richard's right hand moved faster and faster. Richard screamed, his eyes bloodshot, yet he still continued smiling. Richard laughed and sobbed. Richard desperately tried to regain control of his right arm, yet, it was too late, for the counselor ejaculated.
'That was amazing, Richard.'
Richard ran to the door, yet his sacrificed right arm could not reach for the doorknob. He tried lifting his left arm.
'Paralyzed? Richard, We talked about this for so long, stop pretending, if you didn't like what I have just done, you could've just told me.'
'But... Haha... I-I was, I-I felt... p-p-powerless...'
'I'm just a kid... right? I should l-listen to a-adults... Haha...'
Richard, still exposing his lower half, fell to the ground. The counselor approached him.
'Third stage is where you start hallucinating, son of a whore. Who the fuck asked you to be so fuckable?'
Soon, he was on top of Richard. He stabbed his penis into Richard's bottom. He moved his hips. Richard could not resist, for both his arms are sacrificed, and his legs were quivering. He bit his own lips so hard it bled. Blood flowed down his cheek and stained his shirt. Richard could no longer perceive his environment; the only thing he noticed was the cup of coffee on the wooden table. When Richard first entered the room, it used to read 'Be happy!', then it changed to 'World's Best Dad!'
The counselor retracted his penis from Richard's bottom. The counselor's penis enlarged and elongated upwards, past his own height.
'It's your fault, Richard, for you did not resist. You could've told me to stop, but you always sat there crying, powerless, so blame no one but yourself.'
'If you need to blame someone for giving you such a tight asshole and fuckable face, blame me, for it is my sperm that produced you!'
Richard realized.
'Dad... Why are you in my... room...? Please, hahahaha... please leave me alone... please!'
'You like it, Richard, it is written all over your face. You're just prompting me to fuck you more, eh? Son of a whore, you are just like your mother, pretending to feel pain and trying to beg me to stop. Your whore of a mother dressed like a whore, and so she would've enjoyed being fucked like a whore, yet she screamed for help when I tried to fuck her!'
'Don't lie to me, you loved it all, son of a whore!'
The father stabbed his elongated penis into Richard's bottom. The tip of the penis emerged from Richard's throat.
Richard was dead.
The father pulled out the umbrella from Richard's bottom.
'They said the third stage of HAPPY is a self-defense mechanism to convince yourself that you're in a good situation although you're in a shitty one.'
'Were you really so depressed that you deluded yourself into seeing me as a counselor? Thinking that I would help you? Bullshit.'
'My verdict? Fuck off, you weakling. I did you a favor by killing you off, so fucking bless me from hell, son of a whore.'
'Here, I moved you to this chair in front of your computer screen, with a picture of a whore on it. Stare at it with your dead eyes, for you, your mother, and this picture of a whore are all the fucking same!'
And here I am.
Dead.
The fourth stage of HAPPY only kicks in once the individual is dead.
The sacrificed arms continue moving reflexively after death.
Except the arms are reflexively executing what the individual wanted to do the most before death.
And Richard... He really wanted to type this essay out.
I really wanted to.
I wanted to let society know.
I wanted to let you know.
Please, don't do this to us...
Respect us...
Is loving us normally... such a difficult thing to do?
Don't... hurt... us...
Please, haha...
i just want to be happy
fifth stage of happy is
all i did was
laugh
laugh
laugh
am i happy
dad dont beat me
dad why are you showing me your
peepee
dad i'm not crying
i'm laughing
hahaha
see
dad
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