Mood swings. I hate them.
Yeah. Many people have uncontrollable, haphazard mood swings. Some of my friends have them, my mother has them, my beloved chemistry teacher has them as well. People close to me will know that my mood too, swings like, every once in a while.
The frequency of my mood swings kinda reduced since the last few months, but it ain't recovering anytime soon. When people ask, I'll just tell them that it's a heritage thing, which is 20% true actually. When my closer friends ask, only then I'll tell them the real reason. But to be honest, I ain't completely sure of the actual reason myself.
Last year, too many things happened at once, and my feeble mind couldn't take it. That's probably the reason I guess. What happened, you ask? I'll keep that personal I guess, but do kindly read some post which I posted on November 2011 and March 2012 and you'll probably get what I'm talking about.
The issues were solved long ago, but the effects are tremendous.
Oh, and if anyone if you understand my poems (which I doubt more than three people do), then you'll understand me a lot better. I can't express my thoughts in paragraphs as well as in poetry, I don't know why.
And 95% of my poems are "emo" poems, so yeah.
Less than five months till SPM, and six months before 2012 ends. Yes, I'll definitely miss high school life for all its ups and downs. Well, not really for the downs I guess.
Oh, and if you see me not acting like myself, suddenly not being happy-go-lucky or laughing at lame jokes, then stop trying to joke with me. It won't work, and it may aggravate my mood swings to higher levels. Just leave me be, and I'll be back to normal in a few minutes.
Or a few hours.
Or a few days.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Melt
Darkened blemishes blemishing my seed,
and that instant, without need,
I was to be assumed to contain greed.
Scintillating raindrops drizzle on rusted shingles,
but a stare into my dusted wrinkles,
and thus it shall mingle.
Undervalue my pride for a misery I could not hide,
even the calmest of seas has the wildest of tides.
Is the melt of my face that which you succumb to fear,
or a sliver of a shiver that my presence is near?
Even the wealthiest of man has a risk to take,
even the guiltiest of man deserves to be judged awake.
The simplest of words are always the sharpest of knives,
the tamest of bees resides in the busiest of hives.
Swallowing my pride will never be a punctuation,
at the end of a full sentence's revolution.
I may be sheltered by a shell of malevolence,
but inside my heart lies a soul of benevolence.
Thou shan't judge a book by a glimpse of its cover,
thou shan't judge a person by the scent of his flower.
and that instant, without need,
I was to be assumed to contain greed.
Scintillating raindrops drizzle on rusted shingles,
but a stare into my dusted wrinkles,
and thus it shall mingle.
Undervalue my pride for a misery I could not hide,
even the calmest of seas has the wildest of tides.
Is the melt of my face that which you succumb to fear,
or a sliver of a shiver that my presence is near?
Even the wealthiest of man has a risk to take,
even the guiltiest of man deserves to be judged awake.
The simplest of words are always the sharpest of knives,
the tamest of bees resides in the busiest of hives.
Swallowing my pride will never be a punctuation,
at the end of a full sentence's revolution.
I may be sheltered by a shell of malevolence,
but inside my heart lies a soul of benevolence.
Thou shan't judge a book by a glimpse of its cover,
thou shan't judge a person by the scent of his flower.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Red
Final high school sports day, and hell it was awesome.
Reached school at 7am and went straight to the assembly hall to check out the marchers. The first thing I noticed was yellow house's marchers' costumes, they were insanely varied, there were probably 3 different costumes for the marchers alone (other houses only had 1). And I saw a clown, which was their mascot.
And I instantly thought "shit, their mascot is totally awesome."
The costumes of other houses were splendid. Some highlights:
Green house had a dinosaur/crocodile thingy as their mascot. I literally went WTF.
Purple house had a crazy monkey as their mascot, coupled with a pseudo tail and (did I see wrongly?) pseudo fur. Well, Sun Wu Kong was their theme...
Then I went to the field to check out the houses decorations. All of them were genuinely awesome, but yellow house stood out the most. I mean, a popcorn stand, a lion cage, a huge clown head thingy and giant pillars! That was surreal.
Blue house used recycled plastic bottles as fishes, which I thought was very creative. And they used CDs as bubbles (?), or whatever they were. And they had giant pillars too!
Red house's deco is covered to protect it from rain I guess ):
The sports day event started soon after. All marching formations were supremely elegant, and for a second I was worried about red house's marching results. We won for 6 years straight, so the pressure was tremendous.
And we won. WTF. I instantly went hyper from then on.
Spent the day walking around the sports centre / food stalls with some friends. The frozen ice thingy, or whatever the dessert is, was totally awesome. It's been a while since I had sweet stuffs.
The prize-giving ceremony wasn't as bad as I thought, at least the sun calmed its flames for a while. And the sky was drizzling.
Yellow house won overall champion, which came as a shock to many people I guess. Red house won third overall, which was pretty impressive.
Our deco only won fourth place ): I heard that we didn't use enough recycled materials D: oh well.
I'm so gonna miss sports day. D:
Reached school at 7am and went straight to the assembly hall to check out the marchers. The first thing I noticed was yellow house's marchers' costumes, they were insanely varied, there were probably 3 different costumes for the marchers alone (other houses only had 1). And I saw a clown, which was their mascot.
And I instantly thought "shit, their mascot is totally awesome."
The costumes of other houses were splendid. Some highlights:
Green house had a dinosaur/crocodile thingy as their mascot. I literally went WTF.
Purple house had a crazy monkey as their mascot, coupled with a pseudo tail and (did I see wrongly?) pseudo fur. Well, Sun Wu Kong was their theme...
Then I went to the field to check out the houses decorations. All of them were genuinely awesome, but yellow house stood out the most. I mean, a popcorn stand, a lion cage, a huge clown head thingy and giant pillars! That was surreal.
Blue house used recycled plastic bottles as fishes, which I thought was very creative. And they used CDs as bubbles (?), or whatever they were. And they had giant pillars too!
Red house's deco is covered to protect it from rain I guess ):
The sports day event started soon after. All marching formations were supremely elegant, and for a second I was worried about red house's marching results. We won for 6 years straight, so the pressure was tremendous.
And we won. WTF. I instantly went hyper from then on.
Spent the day walking around the sports centre / food stalls with some friends. The frozen ice thingy, or whatever the dessert is, was totally awesome. It's been a while since I had sweet stuffs.
The prize-giving ceremony wasn't as bad as I thought, at least the sun calmed its flames for a while. And the sky was drizzling.
Yellow house won overall champion, which came as a shock to many people I guess. Red house won third overall, which was pretty impressive.
Our deco only won fourth place ): I heard that we didn't use enough recycled materials D: oh well.
I'm so gonna miss sports day. D:
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Shivering Shadows III
Insignificance,
was all that was supplied to such misery
of my life's dignity.
Province of burning glaciers,
land of disintegrating barriers,
were all too familiar.
Sleeping rabbits shall invade our hearts,
their fluffy white fur stained in parts.
They shall never lacerate my will,
never attempt to rob me of my frill.
Feeble skies,
they shall only wail the cries
of forbidden lies.
The times I tried to eradicate,
the times I had to reciprocate,
I've never comprehended true fate.
And my shadows, they sang a sulking song
to withstand the pain too great, too long.
was all that was supplied to such misery
of my life's dignity.
Province of burning glaciers,
land of disintegrating barriers,
were all too familiar.
Sleeping rabbits shall invade our hearts,
their fluffy white fur stained in parts.
They shall never lacerate my will,
never attempt to rob me of my frill.
Feeble skies,
they shall only wail the cries
of forbidden lies.
The times I tried to eradicate,
the times I had to reciprocate,
I've never comprehended true fate.
And my shadows, they sang a sulking song
to withstand the pain too great, too long.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Glass
Feeble, fragile, faulty at heart,
frivolous issues shall render me apart;
thus the world will shatter into glass,
diluting the blood of mine,
reddening the lush green grass.
Show me how to be whole again,
be a human whom is without stain;
be smothered by the acidic rain,
and shriek the cries of utter pain.
Reduce me into dead dust,
by yourself if you must.
Rid me of the suffering I face,
and exemplify my goals for this race;
let my tears flow along the wild gust,
before my soul of steel shall ever rust.
I'm just a raindrop in this brazen storm,
taking on such trivial form.
This is all that I could ever be,
forever a servant in the army of pictures;
forever a wilted leaf of the dead bushes;
forever a liar, of the forbidden raptures.
Just a writer, without thought a fleet,
my glass pen brushes along the diamond sheet,
ripping itself into shreds of sharps,
lacerating through my skin
until all hope was thin.
frivolous issues shall render me apart;
thus the world will shatter into glass,
diluting the blood of mine,
reddening the lush green grass.
Show me how to be whole again,
be a human whom is without stain;
be smothered by the acidic rain,
and shriek the cries of utter pain.
Reduce me into dead dust,
by yourself if you must.
Rid me of the suffering I face,
and exemplify my goals for this race;
let my tears flow along the wild gust,
before my soul of steel shall ever rust.
I'm just a raindrop in this brazen storm,
taking on such trivial form.
This is all that I could ever be,
forever a servant in the army of pictures;
forever a wilted leaf of the dead bushes;
forever a liar, of the forbidden raptures.
Just a writer, without thought a fleet,
my glass pen brushes along the diamond sheet,
ripping itself into shreds of sharps,
lacerating through my skin
until all hope was thin.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Midterm (Orphanage + :@) outing)
Went to orphanage that day, with my civic project group members. The sky was drizzling, so we had some of our parents fetch us to the place from school.
There were only 5 children.
Another 12 of them "went back to their single parents".
So yeah, 5 children. Awesome.
They were actually more interested in iPads and iPhones than doing more appropriate stuffs, musical chairs maybe? Great, we kinda polluted some innocent children's lives. ):
Ordered pizza later, and it was barely enough to fulfill my lust for cheese, or tomato sauces, or chicken shreds, whatever.
Went to Sunway right after that to scream in Redbox with my :@) friends. Sexy and I Know It was utterly fun to sing to. The "AHH" parts were amazing, don't think dirty.
Watched Avengers IMAX after that. RM27 for a ticket? Come on, it's just some famous show with added 3D effects and speakers imbedded in every corner, what's with the hilarious pricing? But really, IMAX just made the entire experience differ from the norm, as the 3D effects were just stunning.
And I kinda understand why was Avengers so damn popular last time. With nonstop action and a slight twist of occasional comedy, it's probably one of the best movies I've watched. Iron Man is aweshum.
Went strolling around Sunway after dinner, and it was already 10pm. Well, since we are to stay overnight in Au Yong's house that night, so who cares?
Sunway is like, so creepy at night, stores were closed, the crowd vanished, the music stopped playing, well everything was different. Blegh. It was still awesome.
Reached Au Yong's house at 12am, which was earlier than we expected (seriously). Went to his room to play around with iPads and iPhones, and watching useless videos, and doing stuffs. It was 2am when my friends decided to watch Johnny English: Reborn in Au Yong's 2nd floor living room. What to do? My friends all sleep late one lah.
I had to surrender to the night at 3am, while some others stayed up till 5am (!!). And yet, they were all fresh the next day. I seriously wonder how could one sleep 4 hours and still be fresh D:
Had breakfast in some low-class restaurant before heading to play futsal with some other dudes. Nothing much happened.
Went back to his house to bath. Mood swing ticked in. Damn.
The rest of the day wasn't fun.
There were only 5 children.
Another 12 of them "went back to their single parents".
So yeah, 5 children. Awesome.
They were actually more interested in iPads and iPhones than doing more appropriate stuffs, musical chairs maybe? Great, we kinda polluted some innocent children's lives. ):
Ordered pizza later, and it was barely enough to fulfill my lust for cheese, or tomato sauces, or chicken shreds, whatever.
Went to Sunway right after that to scream in Redbox with my :@) friends. Sexy and I Know It was utterly fun to sing to. The "AHH" parts were amazing, don't think dirty.
Watched Avengers IMAX after that. RM27 for a ticket? Come on, it's just some famous show with added 3D effects and speakers imbedded in every corner, what's with the hilarious pricing? But really, IMAX just made the entire experience differ from the norm, as the 3D effects were just stunning.
And I kinda understand why was Avengers so damn popular last time. With nonstop action and a slight twist of occasional comedy, it's probably one of the best movies I've watched. Iron Man is aweshum.
Went strolling around Sunway after dinner, and it was already 10pm. Well, since we are to stay overnight in Au Yong's house that night, so who cares?
Sunway is like, so creepy at night, stores were closed, the crowd vanished, the music stopped playing, well everything was different. Blegh. It was still awesome.
Reached Au Yong's house at 12am, which was earlier than we expected (seriously). Went to his room to play around with iPads and iPhones, and watching useless videos, and doing stuffs. It was 2am when my friends decided to watch Johnny English: Reborn in Au Yong's 2nd floor living room. What to do? My friends all sleep late one lah.
I had to surrender to the night at 3am, while some others stayed up till 5am (!!). And yet, they were all fresh the next day. I seriously wonder how could one sleep 4 hours and still be fresh D:
Had breakfast in some low-class restaurant before heading to play futsal with some other dudes. Nothing much happened.
Went back to his house to bath. Mood swing ticked in. Damn.
The rest of the day wasn't fun.
Midterm (OiC Camps)
Part 1 of the several posts that I'll eventually write. Yeah, I know the events were like, long overdue, but still.
16 days of freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted to do, flew by just like that. Well, not really I guess.
Well, that's pretty much a good thing actually, since most of the times I just rot at home during those boredom-inducing holidays. And I'm proud to say that I've only rotted for a mere 8 days at home. That's decent enough.
Super long post ahead. Be warned.
OiC camp on the first day, which is a Saturday. Pretty intense I guess. Taylor's Lakeside Campus is humungous, totally unlike any other universities I've been to, it even has a freaking mall in it! Seriously, is that mall the reason people spend billions to enter the school? Meh.
Malls aside, the place is beautiful, gorgeous in every aspect. There's three main buildings, one of them which is well, the mall; another two are well, buildings for studying lol. There's a lake in the center (obviously), and I heard that there were actually people who fished there. Omg. Makes me wanna go there to study D:
Amazing Race was shit. No joke. How did they expect to fit in a stupidly high amount of 27 people in one group? And the ice-breaking session? Damn, so fail lah. Our group also fail. The race also kinda failed I guess.
Well, at least they kinda attempted to make the stations "interesting".
I could never have a cheap lunch in Taylor's I guess, the restaurants (yes, restaurants inside a campus), ranging from Italian (!!) to probably the cheapest- Subway, are like so classy. Hell, I'll go broke just by spending a week there -.-
Financial talk was beneficial I think, but was boring to the max. Seriously, at least make it more less like a class and more about doing stuffs other than writing and calculation. Damn.
The camp ain't ending yet, as after a tiring Saturday, I needed to prepare myself for Part II on Monday.
It's held in Taylor's College Subang Jaya, the well, "original branch".
The first thing I noticed is how small the corridors are, and how the whole compound is basically a huge labyrinth, with paths linking to everywhere. And there's no mall D:
The first activity, which was some game with "marshmallow and spaghetti", was actually a pretty decent ice-breaking session. The goal is to make a tower using 20 sticks of spaghetti, "1 yard" of spring and tape which could support one marshmallow, the highest tower wins. And yes, our tower (obviously) was the highest with our hands supporting it. Just by letting go our grips, well, oops.
The jungle talk, or whatever it was, was pretty fun I guess. The games were totally stupid yet incessantly fun. Nothing much to talk about here I guess.
Oh, and they provided an excuse of a "nasi lemak" for lunch, which didn't even taste like one. Well, it's free, so yeah.
Bought Chatime during the 3-hour lunch break. Blegh.
The "Reaching Your Dreams" talk was one of the highlights of the day. I don't know. The host was kinda drunk I think, but he's cool. His voice was loud enough that no microphone was needed. Totally awesome.
And the talk was freaking inspirational. Like, seriously. The dude's awesome. What stuffs about how to date a girl and some other shit. Most brilliant talk I've heard in my life.
The Amazing Race was so much more awesome than the one previously. Although it basically involved all of our hands tied together and running around the compound, finding irrelevant stuffs (such as... a leaf? Some "high quality" toilet paper?), or finding stupid people with stupid names. But I never thought finding a leaf would be so much fun.
Oh, and we begged some guys in the male toilet to get us some toilet paper since we were all tied up and stuffs.
Awesome.
16 days of freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted to do, flew by just like that. Well, not really I guess.
Well, that's pretty much a good thing actually, since most of the times I just rot at home during those boredom-inducing holidays. And I'm proud to say that I've only rotted for a mere 8 days at home. That's decent enough.
Super long post ahead. Be warned.
OiC camp on the first day, which is a Saturday. Pretty intense I guess. Taylor's Lakeside Campus is humungous, totally unlike any other universities I've been to, it even has a freaking mall in it! Seriously, is that mall the reason people spend billions to enter the school? Meh.
Malls aside, the place is beautiful, gorgeous in every aspect. There's three main buildings, one of them which is well, the mall; another two are well, buildings for studying lol. There's a lake in the center (obviously), and I heard that there were actually people who fished there. Omg. Makes me wanna go there to study D:
Amazing Race was shit. No joke. How did they expect to fit in a stupidly high amount of 27 people in one group? And the ice-breaking session? Damn, so fail lah. Our group also fail. The race also kinda failed I guess.
Well, at least they kinda attempted to make the stations "interesting".
I could never have a cheap lunch in Taylor's I guess, the restaurants (yes, restaurants inside a campus), ranging from Italian (!!) to probably the cheapest- Subway, are like so classy. Hell, I'll go broke just by spending a week there -.-
Financial talk was beneficial I think, but was boring to the max. Seriously, at least make it more less like a class and more about doing stuffs other than writing and calculation. Damn.
The camp ain't ending yet, as after a tiring Saturday, I needed to prepare myself for Part II on Monday.
It's held in Taylor's College Subang Jaya, the well, "original branch".
The first thing I noticed is how small the corridors are, and how the whole compound is basically a huge labyrinth, with paths linking to everywhere. And there's no mall D:
The first activity, which was some game with "marshmallow and spaghetti", was actually a pretty decent ice-breaking session. The goal is to make a tower using 20 sticks of spaghetti, "1 yard" of spring and tape which could support one marshmallow, the highest tower wins. And yes, our tower (obviously) was the highest with our hands supporting it. Just by letting go our grips, well, oops.
The jungle talk, or whatever it was, was pretty fun I guess. The games were totally stupid yet incessantly fun. Nothing much to talk about here I guess.
Oh, and they provided an excuse of a "nasi lemak" for lunch, which didn't even taste like one. Well, it's free, so yeah.
Bought Chatime during the 3-hour lunch break. Blegh.
The "Reaching Your Dreams" talk was one of the highlights of the day. I don't know. The host was kinda drunk I think, but he's cool. His voice was loud enough that no microphone was needed. Totally awesome.
And the talk was freaking inspirational. Like, seriously. The dude's awesome. What stuffs about how to date a girl and some other shit. Most brilliant talk I've heard in my life.
The Amazing Race was so much more awesome than the one previously. Although it basically involved all of our hands tied together and running around the compound, finding irrelevant stuffs (such as... a leaf? Some "high quality" toilet paper?), or finding stupid people with stupid names. But I never thought finding a leaf would be so much fun.
Oh, and we begged some guys in the male toilet to get us some toilet paper since we were all tied up and stuffs.
Awesome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)