The End I

Look. My blog now consists of 90% poems, how interesting. So it's kinda rare to see a "normal" blogpost like this.

Yes, it's September 28th, barely a month away from SPM; and no, I haven't actually touched books since trials ended. I actually try not to touch books in class, just so that I could actually spend the last days of my high school life, chatting and meeting up with friends and stuffs, playing around with teachers and stuffs. I don't wanna regret it in the future.

Finishing off high school life is kinda bittersweet. I'm kinda anxious about restarting my life in the future; there were many things which I would like to change about myself, and my life. But I know that the road ahead will never be a smooth one; in fact, I think it'll be kinda disastrous for the first few months/years. I haven't even decided what college/university will I be attending, or even the courses. Damn. I should really decide soon.

Yet, graduating from high school allows me to accomplish what I could never do. A new hairstyle? Well, I'm actually thinking of keeping my hair semi-long after SPM, and see how it goes. And I'm also kinda excited about adult life. Driving cars by yourself, going to nightclubs and bars, and just being wild. Yeah, I'm totally innocent in high school alright. LOL.

I wonder, what have I done in high school? Forms 1-3 were kinda wasted. I was still a kid back then. Form 4 was disastrous, and form 5 is probably the only year when the most memories are etched.

Damn. If only I could turn back time, I'll change almost everything about this life.

Well, people said this means I've matured. That's kinda true actually. But just thinking how much have I changed is kinda scary. My longtime friends might know this well.

Friends? I'm glad that I made some true friends, some good friends, and maybe some hi-bye friends, that's pretty much enough I guess. At least it meant that I kinda deserted my old introverted self for a more sociable spirit. I've made more friends in forms 4-5 than forms 1-3 and primary school combined, how fascinating.

Relationships? It was one of the reasons that life in the past year was kinda bumpy. Hell, sometimes I wonder what will happen if everything went well instead? Will I become a happier person? Maybe that particular chapter changed me the most, from a guy who didn't give a shit about anything to a person who cares too much. Maybe that's a good thing. Well, whatever. More on this next time.

It's only during these few months when I've actually bonded with many, many people. Sometimes it's hard, since I'm gonna separate with my new friends after a month or two. Now that sucks.

Time flies. I'm so gonna miss high school for all of its ups and downs.

Malignant Shell

Invalid reasons to feign the pain,
in fetid waters,
where blood reigns the rain.
Dwindle in filth, reckon your gain,
wrinkle in wealth,
and those sordid sorrows were slain.

Wallow in the crying gallows,
tearful, yet shallow.
Allied beasts quiver in the hell
of a malignant shell.
Rose as a being of benevolence,
and fall, coated in malevolence.

Personified as an angel of death,
protector of death.
And claimed to be a profound singer,
and deemed to be our bringer;
when the shadows of your shell,
into insecurity, it shall dwell.

Deemed without personality, dignity,
intrigued by divinity.
Criticized, we cried, falsely mesmerized;
until the night that you always lied,
came out of hide.

Shivering Shadows - Light

Floundered, fell, and it ended too well.
Quivered, quell, welcome to my hell.
Lights on, we're gone, but at least we won.
Lights out, they shout; and we lost the bout.

Ridiculed; resonate, revel in pride,
Lambasted; levitate, level the tide.
Shrivel in fear, for you chose no side,
light or dark, you'd no choice but decide.

Flowers flowered into flowers of frail,
and sinners sinned the sins of derail.
Let the light scintillate the dark of life,
but darkness, hatred, is waking and rife.

Light,
a glade in my shadows;
shining into meadows,
ridding my sorrows;
casting my zeroes,
as the tree of light grows.

Shivering Shadows IV

Gun down the patriots of the very forbidden soil,
wash your ashes down this burning metal coil.
Skies of darkness lampoon my sanity,
none shall satirize my cruelty,
my broken bonds too many.

I shall soon be reborn as a significant being,
and only my wrath is what you will be seeing.
It is time for you to escape,
eschew your life's blinding cape,
and bind yourself in broken red tape,
your bloodied disfigured shape
in which the sun's light shall scrape.

Disgrace to mankind, you are,
so leave to the lands so far,
never return home until your scar
devours you till dawn from far.

As time traverses through the lost forsaken dimensions,
and all those ruined, lambasting mentions,
tend to flood my emotions.
Distinct words shatter dreams,
darken my emerging light beams.

Trembling in this beastly, brutal quiver,
and watch me as my soul wails and shiver.
And as the future foretold my past,
my past is my future, when will it last?