The End's Approaching

This post is gonna be so long.

So we're left with two more schooling days (not counting SPM) and high school life's over.

This really sucks. I loathe it. Time flies way too fast, and I feel as if the first day of Form Five was yesterday, like seriously. What the hell did I do this year?

Video games, study, Facebook, outings, movies, tuition classes, story-writing, karaoke, futsal and many, many other stuffs which I kinda forgot to mention. Blah.

No wait, those aren't important, I do that (almost) every year. If people were to ask me about what I did in Form Five, I wouldn't want to list out those that I've mentioned, they are not what made my final year in high school special.

When I look back at my Form 1-3 years, I kinda wonder how I got used to life revolving around video games, most notably MapleStory. I didn't take initiative in befriending anyone, which was why I didn't have many friends; most of my close friends were those who actually saw through my introversion and childish mindset. And well, I didn't actually appreciate them well, in fact I treated friends as something optional.

Optional.

That was the past.

I once promised to myself that I will live a new life in Form Five at the end of last year, but that didn't take effect until after the CNY holidays (for some reason which I don't actually know).

Everything changed after that.

Class life - We were in groups last year, and that was the last time I'm going to mix in a particular "group". After a chain of resentful events happened, I've had enough. I've decided to set a goal- to be friends with all of my classmates. And it's only recently when I've began to feel like an actual "ehstrian" (or S3-ian). Yet, it's a little too late, as there's only one schooling day left before graduation. Gosh, was I even in S3 last year? But better late than never, at least I can tell people that I studied in one of the most awesome classes for two years. More on this after graduation.

:@) life - Being friends with them since Form One (some in Form Two), they're what makes me feel like being part of a family. With that, they're probably the only people who I can show my true, crazy side to; I need not fake anything to them, and hopefully never will. Whereas other people complained about my extremely "soulful" singing, they never once gave a damn. I could scream in karaoke, scream in the cinemas, play pranks on them, and basically just crap around and they'll just laugh it off. And just like what true friends do, they're some of the few people who I can share my personal problems with. Sometimes, I kinda worry that I wouldn't be able to find people like them again in the future, and that makes me kinda emo-ish. LOL.

Tuition life - I've attended four separate tuition classes this year. Malay tuition was a mixed bag of feelings. I used to hate that place so much that just the thought of attending it runs shivers down my spine, but it's only during the past few lessons that I've befriended some awesome people, and I didn't regret it one bit. Not my favorite tuition, but my friends made it bearable.

Nothing much about Chinese tuition, cause it's hard to actually communicate with people there, due to the teacher being so strict and stuff. LOL. Sometimes I wished the atmosphere wouldn't be so creepy, so that all of us could interact with each other more often, but oh well. Still, the people who I actually got to talk to are really nice, and I even made one or two new friends there.

Add Maths tuition is one of my favorite. The people there were amiable, and I got along pretty quickly even though I kinda shied myself out last year. In fact, this may be the only tuition that I'm willing to sacrifice an outing for. I'll definitely miss the people there, and I kinda wish that someone there will kindly organize a gathering or some sort after SPM.

People say I'm a flirt when it comes to attending Mr Kuan's tuition. I mean, there are four students in my class, and three of them are girls. I don't really care what people think though. In fact, if I were still girl-shy, I wouldn't even dare look at them. They're a bunch of people whom I regret not knowing earlier, cause what the hell, they're just awesome. Will definitely miss all the crazy things we did during tuition, and all the randomness which usually ends up with us laughing our tears out, and other stuffs.

And the friends I've made through Taekwondo, Facebook and other places? They're some of the best I've met. Some of them eventually became my best friends, and some remained hi-bye friends, but they're all cool people, and I never once regretted meeting them.

---

Form Five was a splendid year for me, although it's kinda bumpy at times. There was a time last year when I said that I wanted to end my high school life with a bang, and the end's already approaching.

Now that's fast.

To all the people whom I (unintentionally) hurt before, I take this chance to apologize with utmost sincerity. Sometimes I may spit out harsh words without meaning it, or get into random mood swings, or just sound uninterested, but yeah, I rarely mean it, and I kinda hope you don't take it to heart.

If people were to ask me about what I did in Form Five, I'll tell them that I've met some of the best people in my life, and that was after spending three years as a person who didn't give a shit about his surroundings.

I'm proud of that.

The End II

Weekends are never meant for studying. They are meant for slacking, and well, writing blogposts. LOL.

Having PMR break now, and it'll last for 11 (!!) days, which is excessively long. I still don't get why Monday is a holiday though. D:

And after the break, it's exactly 8 more (schooling) days till graduation. This sucks. It's like, the closer I get to ending my high school life, the closer I get to people.

2011 was shit. Sometimes I kinda wonder, what have I actually done in 2011? Random shit. I don't remember shit about it, like, really. Maybe it's just my mind refusing to accept the fact that I've been through one of the bumpiest times of my life.

2012 is a whole different matter though.

I've been actively approaching my classmates a lot more frequently than I've used to, which is a splendid thing. My class is actually a pretty cool class, and sometimes I kinda wonder why did I remain an introvert last year. D:

Time goes by a little too fast I guess.

Last Saturday (2 days ago), our class organized some kind of BBQ party. Being me, I didn't have high expectations for it, and just wished that nothing shit-worthy would happen.

I was blown away.

The lack of a second controller wasn't a problem, as we screamed like madmen while playing Digimon Rumble Arena 2. And oh, the girls were apparently pretty good at it. LOL.

Then there's Tooth Fairy, some random movie which Isabel picked out of a box of (rather old) movies. Ain't that bad, kinda LOL-ed at parts, but eventually the time came when most of us decided that watching the others heating up the charcoal outside is more interesting.

And before I even knew it, the house was packed. With more than 25 attending out of 42 students, it's really cool.

Just the thought of BBQ makes me hungry, and it's 12am now. So just imagine how it's like for 25 people to finish 50 chicken wings, a huge container of spaghetti, fried rice, fried noodles, big sausages, small sausages (okay...), bacon, more bacon, marshmallows, desserts, salads, cake (we had them?), and some other stuffs which I kinda forgot. (great, now I'm getting hungry)

And I'm kinda lazy to blog about the rest of the day, but it was seriously damn fun. Hell, I wished that I could stay longer.

I'm gonna miss my class.

Shivering Shadows - Dark

Ignite the pillars of my blatant lies,
reunite with release of fragrant flies.
Wonder if darkness shall rule eternity?
It shall prevail,
and derail those without purity.

Shadowing the world behind my back,
and countless fools have lost their track.
Blood rained into my nemesis' thirst,
washing away their beating first;
staining the souls that they've been hiding,
and all the tears they've spent years wiping.

Black light shrouded my beams of darkness,
and inside contains a shroud of darkness.
I was without innocence, no and never will,
but life's without worth when lacking some thrill.

And the world will be flooded, smothered in shadows;
bloodied, blemished, please forgive my shadows.