O 'tis just me;
who was I, such iridescent being?
Without a path to shine I'm seeing?
But why was I, what ye be agreeing?
Agree to none of my supreme being.
A mature child.
A widow of the wild.
O wilderness of the child,
why hast thou smiled?
Thou understandest none compiled.
Thou forever stood lonely child.
Thou without future piled;
yet 'twas the child of maturity
who simply smiled.
O brilliant heart, filled thy awe.
so ostentatious.
Flaw!
Fie upon deliriousness!
None will know but the Almigthy,
who destined us our destiny;
O Lord my savior, O Thy grace
who destined us path without disgrace.
Words as if buzz of the bees,
yet when O Lord hath spoke to thee,
love and be loved, I prithee.
Bending or bent road of thine,
O, she went without peace for mine;
but 'twas a former friend of mine.
Thy aptitude, sky high as thyself;
slave, slave, slave!
Thy slave of oneself.
Ah, thou shan't be brave,
until thy flower wilts in grave.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Love Me for My Shadows.
I'm amazed at how much I've changed during college; or is it how much college changed me?
I'm also amazed at how much my entire life changed after one midterm break.
No words can ever describe my unfaltering love towards CPU. I repeated that in my previous blogposts, and I just had to do it again. Maybe it's the people, or the lecturers, or the environment, I'm not too sure.
It's right in this very place that most of my high school friends deem dreadful, unworthy, monotonous, boring and stressful; yes, it's this sudden shift in lifestyle that I've fell in love with.
Love?
I didn't expect it. I didn't bother much about it. In fact, my past experience robbed me of all my confidence and self-esteem.
It happened so suddenly, so quickly that it's actually amusing.
We didn't get to know each other face-to-face; it was through our one common friend.
Oh life, why did you accelerate at the most unexpected of all times? It was too fast. I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to start again. I rephrase that, I never wanted to love in college. Why do I have to sacrifice so much; again I rephrase, why did I sacrifice so much for a false sense of love in the past?
Love is annoying. Love is troublesome. That was what I thought, not what I currently think.
I made it clear to myself that I simply wanted to go along the flow; God proved that to me in the past. He led me into a case of unrequited, unreciprocated love, all for the sake of maturing me. I fully comprehend that now. I dared question His actions back then solely because I didn't understand Him. God's path is always the right path.
It just happened naturally. We got close; me and her I mean. No, not the "her" that I've mentioned three thousand times in my previous posts, but a new "her".
She who proved to me that one could still live life to the fullest after falling in love.
It was on the 29th of March, 2013.
No masks needed; they're just childish little tools used to satisfy the greediest of all people. They're stupid. How did I survive my past with an ostentatiously thick mask on, I will never know.
It's a staggering contrast to my past.
I can love her openly, freely, without being turned down by occasional "uhh"s or "sorry"s.
God is great.
And you, yes you, my sleepyhead little princess; you're great too. Thanks for coming into my life and loving me for who I am, for who I will be, for who I was. Thanks for giving me this chance. Thanks for actually letting me love you.
My best friend, sister, lover, girlfriend. Yes, you know who you are :)
I'm also amazed at how much my entire life changed after one midterm break.
No words can ever describe my unfaltering love towards CPU. I repeated that in my previous blogposts, and I just had to do it again. Maybe it's the people, or the lecturers, or the environment, I'm not too sure.
It's right in this very place that most of my high school friends deem dreadful, unworthy, monotonous, boring and stressful; yes, it's this sudden shift in lifestyle that I've fell in love with.
Love?
I didn't expect it. I didn't bother much about it. In fact, my past experience robbed me of all my confidence and self-esteem.
It happened so suddenly, so quickly that it's actually amusing.
We didn't get to know each other face-to-face; it was through our one common friend.
Oh life, why did you accelerate at the most unexpected of all times? It was too fast. I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to start again. I rephrase that, I never wanted to love in college. Why do I have to sacrifice so much; again I rephrase, why did I sacrifice so much for a false sense of love in the past?
Love is annoying. Love is troublesome. That was what I thought, not what I currently think.
I made it clear to myself that I simply wanted to go along the flow; God proved that to me in the past. He led me into a case of unrequited, unreciprocated love, all for the sake of maturing me. I fully comprehend that now. I dared question His actions back then solely because I didn't understand Him. God's path is always the right path.
It just happened naturally. We got close; me and her I mean. No, not the "her" that I've mentioned three thousand times in my previous posts, but a new "her".
She who proved to me that one could still live life to the fullest after falling in love.
It was on the 29th of March, 2013.
No masks needed; they're just childish little tools used to satisfy the greediest of all people. They're stupid. How did I survive my past with an ostentatiously thick mask on, I will never know.
It's a staggering contrast to my past.
I can love her openly, freely, without being turned down by occasional "uhh"s or "sorry"s.
God is great.
And you, yes you, my sleepyhead little princess; you're great too. Thanks for coming into my life and loving me for who I am, for who I will be, for who I was. Thanks for giving me this chance. Thanks for actually letting me love you.
My best friend, sister, lover, girlfriend. Yes, you know who you are :)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Cancer.
No, I'm not emotional right now, but this song is just perfection.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byVA-YfNxds
- My Chemical Romance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byVA-YfNxds
- My Chemical Romance.
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie;
help her gather all my things
and bury me in all my favorite colors,
my sisters and my brothers; still,
I will not kiss you;
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away,
'cause I'm awful just to see;
'cause all my hairs abandoned all my body.
Oh, my agony,
know that I will never marry.
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
but counting down the days to go,
it just ain't living,
and I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
If you could get me a drink
of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie;
help her gather all my things
and bury me in all my favorite colors,
my sisters and my brothers; still,
I will not kiss you;
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away,
'cause I'm awful just to see;
'cause all my hairs abandoned all my body.
Oh, my agony,
know that I will never marry.
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,
but counting down the days to go,
it just ain't living,
and I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Monday, April 1, 2013
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