Look. My blog now consists of 90% poems, how interesting. So it's kinda rare to see a "normal" blogpost like this.
Yes, it's September 28th, barely a month away from SPM; and no, I haven't actually touched books since trials ended. I actually try not to touch books in class, just so that I could actually spend the last days of my high school life, chatting and meeting up with friends and stuffs, playing around with teachers and stuffs. I don't wanna regret it in the future.
Finishing off high school life is kinda bittersweet. I'm kinda anxious about restarting my life in the future; there were many things which I would like to change about myself, and my life. But I know that the road ahead will never be a smooth one; in fact, I think it'll be kinda disastrous for the first few months/years. I haven't even decided what college/university will I be attending, or even the courses. Damn. I should really decide soon.
Yet, graduating from high school allows me to accomplish what I could never do. A new hairstyle? Well, I'm actually thinking of keeping my hair semi-long after SPM, and see how it goes. And I'm also kinda excited about adult life. Driving cars by yourself, going to nightclubs and bars, and just being wild. Yeah, I'm totally innocent in high school alright. LOL.
I wonder, what have I done in high school? Forms 1-3 were kinda wasted. I was still a kid back then. Form 4 was disastrous, and form 5 is probably the only year when the most memories are etched.
Damn. If only I could turn back time, I'll change almost everything about this life.
Well, people said this means I've matured. That's kinda true actually. But just thinking how much have I changed is kinda scary. My longtime friends might know this well.
Friends? I'm glad that I made some true friends, some good friends, and maybe some hi-bye friends, that's pretty much enough I guess. At least it meant that I kinda deserted my old introverted self for a more sociable spirit. I've made more friends in forms 4-5 than forms 1-3 and primary school combined, how fascinating.
Relationships? It was one of the reasons that life in the past year was kinda bumpy. Hell, sometimes I wonder what will happen if everything went well instead? Will I become a happier person? Maybe that particular chapter changed me the most, from a guy who didn't give a shit about anything to a person who cares too much. Maybe that's a good thing. Well, whatever. More on this next time.
It's only during these few months when I've actually bonded with many, many people. Sometimes it's hard, since I'm gonna separate with my new friends after a month or two. Now that sucks.
Time flies. I'm so gonna miss high school for all of its ups and downs.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Malignant Shell
Invalid reasons to feign the pain,
in fetid waters,
where blood reigns the rain.
Dwindle in filth, reckon your gain,
wrinkle in wealth,
and those sordid sorrows were slain.
Wallow in the crying gallows,
tearful, yet shallow.
Allied beasts quiver in the hell
of a malignant shell.
Rose as a being of benevolence,
and fall, coated in malevolence.
Personified as an angel of death,
protector of death.
And claimed to be a profound singer,
and deemed to be our bringer;
when the shadows of your shell,
into insecurity, it shall dwell.
Deemed without personality, dignity,
intrigued by divinity.
Criticized, we cried, falsely mesmerized;
until the night that you always lied,
came out of hide.
in fetid waters,
where blood reigns the rain.
Dwindle in filth, reckon your gain,
wrinkle in wealth,
and those sordid sorrows were slain.
Wallow in the crying gallows,
tearful, yet shallow.
Allied beasts quiver in the hell
of a malignant shell.
Rose as a being of benevolence,
and fall, coated in malevolence.
Personified as an angel of death,
protector of death.
And claimed to be a profound singer,
and deemed to be our bringer;
when the shadows of your shell,
into insecurity, it shall dwell.
Deemed without personality, dignity,
intrigued by divinity.
Criticized, we cried, falsely mesmerized;
until the night that you always lied,
came out of hide.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Shivering Shadows - Light
Floundered, fell, and it ended too well.
Quivered, quell, welcome to my hell.
Lights on, we're gone, but at least we won.
Lights out, they shout; and we lost the bout.
Ridiculed; resonate, revel in pride,
Lambasted; levitate, level the tide.
Shrivel in fear, for you chose no side,
light or dark, you'd no choice but decide.
Flowers flowered into flowers of frail,
and sinners sinned the sins of derail.
Let the light scintillate the dark of life,
but darkness, hatred, is waking and rife.
Light,
a glade in my shadows;
shining into meadows,
ridding my sorrows;
casting my zeroes,
as the tree of light grows.
Quivered, quell, welcome to my hell.
Lights on, we're gone, but at least we won.
Lights out, they shout; and we lost the bout.
Ridiculed; resonate, revel in pride,
Lambasted; levitate, level the tide.
Shrivel in fear, for you chose no side,
light or dark, you'd no choice but decide.
Flowers flowered into flowers of frail,
and sinners sinned the sins of derail.
Let the light scintillate the dark of life,
but darkness, hatred, is waking and rife.
Light,
a glade in my shadows;
shining into meadows,
ridding my sorrows;
casting my zeroes,
as the tree of light grows.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Shivering Shadows IV
Gun down the patriots of the very forbidden soil,
wash your ashes down this burning metal coil.
Skies of darkness lampoon my sanity,
none shall satirize my cruelty,
my broken bonds too many.
I shall soon be reborn as a significant being,
and only my wrath is what you will be seeing.
It is time for you to escape,
eschew your life's blinding cape,
and bind yourself in broken red tape,
your bloodied disfigured shape
in which the sun's light shall scrape.
Disgrace to mankind, you are,
so leave to the lands so far,
never return home until your scar
devours you till dawn from far.
As time traverses through the lost forsaken dimensions,
and all those ruined, lambasting mentions,
tend to flood my emotions.
Distinct words shatter dreams,
darken my emerging light beams.
Trembling in this beastly, brutal quiver,
and watch me as my soul wails and shiver.
And as the future foretold my past,
my past is my future, when will it last?
wash your ashes down this burning metal coil.
Skies of darkness lampoon my sanity,
none shall satirize my cruelty,
my broken bonds too many.
I shall soon be reborn as a significant being,
and only my wrath is what you will be seeing.
It is time for you to escape,
eschew your life's blinding cape,
and bind yourself in broken red tape,
your bloodied disfigured shape
in which the sun's light shall scrape.
Disgrace to mankind, you are,
so leave to the lands so far,
never return home until your scar
devours you till dawn from far.
As time traverses through the lost forsaken dimensions,
and all those ruined, lambasting mentions,
tend to flood my emotions.
Distinct words shatter dreams,
darken my emerging light beams.
Trembling in this beastly, brutal quiver,
and watch me as my soul wails and shiver.
And as the future foretold my past,
my past is my future, when will it last?
Saturday, August 11, 2012
With You
For some reason, I get chills every time I listen to this song.
Linkin Park - With You
I woke up in a dream today,
To the cold of the static, and put my cold feet on the floor.
Forgot all about yesterday,
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore.
A little taste of hypocrisy,
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
Even though you're so close to me,
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back.
It's true, the way I feel, was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice, painted on my memories.
Even if you're not with me,
I'm with you.
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
I hit you and you hit me back,
We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still.
Fine line between this and that,
When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real.
Now I'm trapped in this memory,
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
Even though you're close to me,
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back.
It's true, the way I feel, was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice, painted on my memories.
Even if you're not with me,
I'm with you.
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
No, no matter how far we've come,
I can't wait to see tomorrow.
No matter how far we've come, I,
I can't wait to see tomorrow.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
Linkin Park - With You
I woke up in a dream today,
To the cold of the static, and put my cold feet on the floor.
Forgot all about yesterday,
Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore.
A little taste of hypocrisy,
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
Even though you're so close to me,
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back.
It's true, the way I feel, was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice, painted on my memories.
Even if you're not with me,
I'm with you.
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
I hit you and you hit me back,
We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still.
Fine line between this and that,
When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real.
Now I'm trapped in this memory,
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react.
Even though you're close to me,
You're still so distant, and I can't bring you back.
It's true, the way I feel, was promised by your face.
The sound of your voice, painted on my memories.
Even if you're not with me,
I'm with you.
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
No, no matter how far we've come,
I can't wait to see tomorrow.
No matter how far we've come, I,
I can't wait to see tomorrow.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
With you,
You, now I see, keeping everything inside.
With you,
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Binding Darkness
Crave for my soul as a bleeding supper,
stare into my eyes for your hearts will mutter,
"Soul is weak, obsolete, yielding to flutter;
it is only my duty to breathe in and suffer."
Such poetry will never not bathe you in sin,
how can you exclude me from your malignant win?
Sinner's paradise welcome you with wide open arms,
after you trampled the seeds of sorrow
in my blazing farms.
Bind me and my rights to your brazen fissured face,
serenity will find you once you surrendered that mace.
Why am I bound by an animal of slower pace?
Simply because I could not withstand
humiliation and disgrace.
Dead angels reigned your spirit without facing intensity;
and you yielded to its grasp so hastily, so willingly.
Now you may take pride by binding me in darkness,
but darkness takes no sides, just ecstasy in shallowness;
and the depth of your heart will not last much longer,
it is only human to commit sin and ponder,
"Will I be executed by a wallowing smother?"
My malevolent shell emits its light no more,
for the presence of your aura could cause it to sore.
And wisdom will only seek the purest of pure,
and the one would never be you for sure.
stare into my eyes for your hearts will mutter,
"Soul is weak, obsolete, yielding to flutter;
it is only my duty to breathe in and suffer."
Such poetry will never not bathe you in sin,
how can you exclude me from your malignant win?
Sinner's paradise welcome you with wide open arms,
after you trampled the seeds of sorrow
in my blazing farms.
Bind me and my rights to your brazen fissured face,
serenity will find you once you surrendered that mace.
Why am I bound by an animal of slower pace?
Simply because I could not withstand
humiliation and disgrace.
Dead angels reigned your spirit without facing intensity;
and you yielded to its grasp so hastily, so willingly.
Now you may take pride by binding me in darkness,
but darkness takes no sides, just ecstasy in shallowness;
and the depth of your heart will not last much longer,
it is only human to commit sin and ponder,
"Will I be executed by a wallowing smother?"
My malevolent shell emits its light no more,
for the presence of your aura could cause it to sore.
And wisdom will only seek the purest of pure,
and the one would never be you for sure.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Sleep
(Written for a school essay assignment. Decided to troll my teacher and made it a poem instead.)
Meet the prudence of the circular clock, ticking away the hazard of my mental block. I rested myself on the sleeper's throne, executing nothing in the poor man's place alone.
The clock struck twelve midnight, as the thunders of the clock's bells lacerated my eardrums. Into the dreamer's twilight, my world was flooded with the mockingbird's hums.
I ventured forward into the chilling brazen storm, as I allowed patience to ensure my dreams were reformed. The depths of the hurricane spelled out impeding doom, but I barely faltered upon witnessing the dark blossom's bloom.
Such a malevolent dark blossom surrounded by rain, resisting me from gazing into the dreamer's brain. I dilated my pupils for reconnaissance of the place, and I fixated my eyesight onto a woman of grace.
My name and my pride is Shadow von Vegas, and my soul resonated with the woman in canvas. Shivering in the dark, her hair soon scintillated; riding along the wind, a world it reinvented.
The woman was my late mother, whom surrendered violently. She was murdered in the dreaded hands of insanity. She visited my dreams one time too many, and always reminded me of my life so merrily.
I marched through the storm with intent to meet, but she merely stood without the will to greet. Like a statue, she stared at the distant oblivion; her face missing the presence of a past destruction.
I slid my arms through the barriers of air, dreaming to make contact with her dark woven hair. But her humanoid shell disintegrated into dust, and what was left was the steel pavement's rust.
A tunnel of light has shone a path. Venturing in the deep unknown of laughs.
Frivolous thoughts has conquered my mind, as I was ensnared in a silver chain's bind. I struggled with fear as my mouth was smothered, while witnessing the dancing shadows of my mother.
As the evanescence of shadows was well too perceived, I realized the pain that infested was received. A force that I was oblivious of pummeled my face, as crimson blood droplets aimed to finish the race.
As freedom was obtained and a path was gained, I sprinted across the land that the rain has stained. Deleterious terrains annihilated my will, as the area was a dimension of glaciers to kill.
My legs were entangled by a myriad of fingers, as I shrieked with the shattering spirit of singers. Yet she knew that she didn't have a chance, as I delivered a blow which sent her into trance.
As her fingers gave in to my kick of brutality, I eschewed the hurricane of arrows so easily. Frostbite threatened to rid me of my soul, as I accelerated in pace into the land of holes.
My sleep didn't reach its demise as expected, as I began to ponder the issues I neglected. My mind was a labyrinth as I witnessed a scene, the murder of my mother Bella de Grene.
Like a mad bull, the culprit charged forward. As fast as lightning, the knife swiped towards. From a sane perspective, the slasher was psychotic; in words of malice, he was barely a lunatic.
As she kissed the pavement wearing a blanket of blood, my mind was like beasts escaping from flood. The nemesis fixated his sight onto my praying, "nothing is impossible" was just a mere saying.
She could never have survived the slash on her head, as my scar was found from my neck a thread. Sirens whistled through town too soft too loud, as I could only observe the darkness a shroud.
But my time was ticking and all hope was null; I was never awake, not a movement of my skull. As the teardrops of my loved evaporated so quickly, I could only sense my heartbeat dying so slowly.
As the scent of medicine infiltrated my senses, I could only write every sentence in past tenses. A coma I had endured forever until then, and this deep sleep shall end, until when?
I shall never rise from this coffin so deep; the only thing I know, is eternal sleep.
Meet the prudence of the circular clock, ticking away the hazard of my mental block. I rested myself on the sleeper's throne, executing nothing in the poor man's place alone.
The clock struck twelve midnight, as the thunders of the clock's bells lacerated my eardrums. Into the dreamer's twilight, my world was flooded with the mockingbird's hums.
I ventured forward into the chilling brazen storm, as I allowed patience to ensure my dreams were reformed. The depths of the hurricane spelled out impeding doom, but I barely faltered upon witnessing the dark blossom's bloom.
Such a malevolent dark blossom surrounded by rain, resisting me from gazing into the dreamer's brain. I dilated my pupils for reconnaissance of the place, and I fixated my eyesight onto a woman of grace.
My name and my pride is Shadow von Vegas, and my soul resonated with the woman in canvas. Shivering in the dark, her hair soon scintillated; riding along the wind, a world it reinvented.
The woman was my late mother, whom surrendered violently. She was murdered in the dreaded hands of insanity. She visited my dreams one time too many, and always reminded me of my life so merrily.
I marched through the storm with intent to meet, but she merely stood without the will to greet. Like a statue, she stared at the distant oblivion; her face missing the presence of a past destruction.
I slid my arms through the barriers of air, dreaming to make contact with her dark woven hair. But her humanoid shell disintegrated into dust, and what was left was the steel pavement's rust.
A tunnel of light has shone a path. Venturing in the deep unknown of laughs.
Frivolous thoughts has conquered my mind, as I was ensnared in a silver chain's bind. I struggled with fear as my mouth was smothered, while witnessing the dancing shadows of my mother.
As the evanescence of shadows was well too perceived, I realized the pain that infested was received. A force that I was oblivious of pummeled my face, as crimson blood droplets aimed to finish the race.
As freedom was obtained and a path was gained, I sprinted across the land that the rain has stained. Deleterious terrains annihilated my will, as the area was a dimension of glaciers to kill.
My legs were entangled by a myriad of fingers, as I shrieked with the shattering spirit of singers. Yet she knew that she didn't have a chance, as I delivered a blow which sent her into trance.
As her fingers gave in to my kick of brutality, I eschewed the hurricane of arrows so easily. Frostbite threatened to rid me of my soul, as I accelerated in pace into the land of holes.
My sleep didn't reach its demise as expected, as I began to ponder the issues I neglected. My mind was a labyrinth as I witnessed a scene, the murder of my mother Bella de Grene.
Like a mad bull, the culprit charged forward. As fast as lightning, the knife swiped towards. From a sane perspective, the slasher was psychotic; in words of malice, he was barely a lunatic.
As she kissed the pavement wearing a blanket of blood, my mind was like beasts escaping from flood. The nemesis fixated his sight onto my praying, "nothing is impossible" was just a mere saying.
She could never have survived the slash on her head, as my scar was found from my neck a thread. Sirens whistled through town too soft too loud, as I could only observe the darkness a shroud.
But my time was ticking and all hope was null; I was never awake, not a movement of my skull. As the teardrops of my loved evaporated so quickly, I could only sense my heartbeat dying so slowly.
As the scent of medicine infiltrated my senses, I could only write every sentence in past tenses. A coma I had endured forever until then, and this deep sleep shall end, until when?
I shall never rise from this coffin so deep; the only thing I know, is eternal sleep.
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