The Writer's Block: Author's Note

(WARNING: Contains spoilers to my latest story, The Writer's Block)

My third full-length story since 2011. It is also the easiest to write. It took me just four days.

It's been less than a month since I've written The Fall, but ideas came quick this time around. There's a series I've watched a long time ago, yet interested me enough to sit through the entire thing again. It's called Salad Fingers, It's not for the fainthearted. It's not for the weak. Okay, maybe I'm a bit fainthearted and weak. Whatever. The series speak of a green creature with salad-like fingers. Its name is Salad Fingers. The last statement cannot be any more obvious.

Oh, Salad Fingers have many friends. Salad Fingers is sexually aroused by rusty things. Salad Finger hallucinates. Salad Fingers is emotional. Salad Fingers is weird. Salad Fingers is traumatized.

It may seem... abnormal to some, but to me, it's a roller coaster of emotions. I can't seem to completely love Salad Fingers, yet the green creature is somehow very charismatic. Salad Fingers' actions are creepy to the point of being nightmarish, yet Salad Fingers is probably one of the very few characters who saddens me. There's something sadly off about this charming, eccentric character.

There's also a video game, The Stanley Parable, which inspired the second-person unreliable narrator concept of my story. As a writer, I try my best to push the boundaries of what can be achieved through words. What makes a piece of writing unique?

There's tunes and instruments in a song, visualization and materials usage in an artwork, auditory effects and movement in a movie, control and inputs in a video game.

Those are in addition to words. In most cases, there are lyrics in a song, messages in an artwork, scripts in a movie, stories in a video game.

But writings... There are only words in a writing.

What if I write a story that cannot be transcribed into any other art form without changing its original meaning?

The Stanley Parable is one such video game. It's worth a play. It redefines the term "video game". It understands that it's a game. It embraces it. You're the player? It treats you with the respect you deserve... Actually, no. It mocks you for being a player.

So... why not mock readers? Well, that'll turn them away. Readers hate to be mocked for their rights to read a story. So I mock everything. My latest story is a satire. It's written in the natural, sarcastic, sometimes cynical style that I've adapted since Tyrant Eliza. That explains how I finished The Writer's Block in four days.

One of my goals is to forge a relationship with readers. Yet, even this is risky. By acknowledging the readers, they will have higher expectations. They will be easily disappointed. I fear that.

So... why not put all that into the story?

Why not project my worst fears into the story's various characters?

One of my past stories, Tyrant Eliza, tried to encapsulate this paranoia. It also embraced a second-person writing style, albeit not nearly as blatant as The Writer's Block.

Both stories were written liberally, whereas The Fall was written restrictively. This very fact is actually one of the main themes in The Writer's Block. How much will you restrict yourself to satisfy society? How much will you shape your life to fit into society?

How much will you change for others?

Society asks you to change and therefore you change. But where's you?

Society asks you to change again and therefore you change again.

And again.

This "society" never existed in the first place, because no matter how much you change, you can never satisfy everyone. So what's the point of changing?

Because once you've changed for society, you no longer exist.

If you have to change, change for yourself. At least you're still you.

Don't let society transform you into a product of their fantasies.

It's a constant fear of mine. I'm scared. I'm worried that I will no longer be me. I'm always afraid of writing myself into a corner and being stuck there for life, both literally and figuratively. I'm afraid of being trapped.

The Writer's Block comes to me naturally. Brainstorming sessions are quick and productive. Twists and turns all appear magically. It's the story closest to my heart. An endless cycle of living in a cold, hard fantasy; every attempt to venture into reality rebounds you deeper back into the very dreams that you're trying to escape from.

To you, everyone is real and a product of your fantasy.

What I fear the most is that I'm forced to repeat the same dreadful life of not being me over and over again.

Now that I think of it, this is less of a cycle and more of a spiral.

I'll be digging deeper and deeper away from me. In the end, it will all be too late. There will be no escape. By then, you will only have one question.

Where's me?